2017 Preview: Aydan’s predictions for the year

  • Jan. 3- 66% of America’s New Year’s resolutions have been given up
  • Feb. 19- NHS realizes seniors do not have enough hours to graduate, extend the school day from 8:00 a.m.-10:45 p.m.
  • Mar. 12- NHS replaces tornado drills with earthquake drills
  • Mar. 17- Students all wear green, don’t realize it’s a violation of dress code
  • Apr. 1- April fools is cancelled, entire year of 2017 is a joke
  • May 22- Roles reverse, teachers play pranks on seniors
  • May 24- Mr. Triggs’ promises to return for another 25 years
  • June 17- Hipsters everywhere rejoice as Starbucks starts giving out free flannels with orders
  • July 4- Another 4th of July goes by without a single American questioning why they’re lighting off fireworks
  • Aug. 4- First back-to-school ad comes out, stress ball sales increase dramatically
  • August 30th.- Honors English students remember summer homework
  • Sept. 7- Twitter releases “Audio tweets”: now able to hear Donald Trump mumbling about China as he falls asleep
  • Sept. 27- Students have mass funeral for math grades
  • Oct. 5- Kanye does exactly what you think he will do
  • Oct. 31- Scariest costumes for this year: The U.S. economy, finals week
  • Nov. 7- iPhone 8 released: size of small television, still not enough storage
  • Dec. 24- Christmas delayed after Santa lays off thousands of elves following labor strike
  • Dec. 31- Rinse, wash, repeat
Print Friendly, PDF & Email