2017 Preview: Aydan’s predictions for the year
- Jan. 3- 66% of America’s New Year’s resolutions have been given up
- Feb. 19- NHS realizes seniors do not have enough hours to graduate, extend the school day from 8:00 a.m.-10:45 p.m.
- Mar. 12- NHS replaces tornado drills with earthquake drills
- Mar. 17- Students all wear green, don’t realize it’s a violation of dress code
- Apr. 1- April fools is cancelled, entire year of 2017 is a joke
- May 22- Roles reverse, teachers play pranks on seniors
- May 24- Mr. Triggs’ promises to return for another 25 years
- June 17- Hipsters everywhere rejoice as Starbucks starts giving out free flannels with orders
- July 4- Another 4th of July goes by without a single American questioning why they’re lighting off fireworks
- Aug. 4- First back-to-school ad comes out, stress ball sales increase dramatically
- August 30th.- Honors English students remember summer homework
- Sept. 7- Twitter releases “Audio tweets”: now able to hear Donald Trump mumbling about China as he falls asleep
- Sept. 27- Students have mass funeral for math grades
- Oct. 5- Kanye does exactly what you think he will do
- Oct. 31- Scariest costumes for this year: The U.S. economy, finals week
- Nov. 7- iPhone 8 released: size of small television, still not enough storage
- Dec. 24- Christmas delayed after Santa lays off thousands of elves following labor strike
- Dec. 31- Rinse, wash, repeat
About the Contributors
Aydan Rolph, Newtonian Co-Entertainment Editor
Aydan is a Senior and has been on staff for two years. He is a poet who spends far too much time playing baseball and thinking about vegetarian cuisine....
Payton Fenwick, Newtonian Asst. Editor in Chief
Payton is a senior who has been on staff for three years. She served as the Opinions Editor her junior year and is now the Online Editor and Assistant...
