Typically, whenever someone is compared to their parents, their first reaction is to become defensive and deny the comment. Instead of becoming defensive, people should see it as a compliment and embrace these similarities more.

From birth to around the age of 12, most children thought their parents were the smartest people they knew. There would even be arguments on the elementary school playground about whose dad was the best. So what changed? Why is everyone so afraid of becoming like their parents?

While similarities between child and parent can be discovered in multiple aspects of life, a large similarity can be found in parenting methods. In 2012, Jay Belsky, a psychologist with a Ph.D. in Human Development, conducted a study regarding the parenting methods of young parents, compared to the parenting styles of those parents’ parents. Belsky found that both parenting methods were extremely similar. This research suggests that no matter how motivated a child is to never become like their parent, certain aspects of it are inevitable.

While there are some exceptions, the average time a child spends living in the same household as a parent is 18+ years. In those 18 years, it is expected that children will develop goals and values similar to their parents. For some reason, this similarity has been viewed as a negative thing.

The saying that “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has been proven to be true, so embrace the similarities. Do not take offense to the comparison so quickly, because parents are quite a bit wiser than they are given credit for.